I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
