I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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