you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
