So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
