16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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