the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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