Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
