i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
