this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
