oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i came on her dog
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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