I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
