They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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