ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
