I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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