32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
