I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
