I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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