So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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