WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Damn victory sex feels great
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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