and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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