she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
