Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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