lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
