Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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