from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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