If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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