Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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