I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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