You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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