In America we eat man semen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
