I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
