Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
