I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
