So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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