after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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