i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
