My first STD was from a foam party
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
