i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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