Don't you send me to vm
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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