No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
