Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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