You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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