I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
