sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
