You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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