ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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