i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
