morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
