too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
