I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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