The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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